Emotional Intelligence 2.0 Book Summary | By Travis Bradberry And Jean Greaves

Table of Contents

What Emotional Intelligence Is and Why It Matters

The authors begin by comparing how much emphasis we often put EQ with how crucial it is to success. These statistics are:

Those with average IQs perform better than those with high IQs. 70% of the time, there is no connection between EQ and IQ.
In most vocations, EQ contributes to performance to the tune of 58%.
Average EQ point gains are substantially connected with wage ($1,300 rise per point), with persons with high EQ earning $29,000 more than those with low EQ.

*Emotional Intelligence 2.0 Book Summary*

In contrast to IQ, you may significantly raise it with work. Our first response to any situation will always be emotional because of the wiring in our brains, yet only 36% of people are able to recognize their own emotions as they are occurring.

Then what really is EQ? Emotional intelligence, according to the authors, is the capacity to identify and comprehend your own and other people’s emotions as well as the capacity to use this awareness to control your conduct and interpersonal interactions.

A Framework for Recognizing, Assessing, and Boosting EQ

People with high levels of self-awareness are aware of their strengths, what inspires and fulfils them, and which people and situations make them uncomfortable. The fundamental ability for emotional intelligence is this one.

Self-awareness is the foundation for the next EQ factor. Self-management, according to the authors, is the capacity to employ emotional awareness to maintain flexibility and positively influence behaviour. You must be able to put aside your immediate wants in order to concentrate on your long-term objectives.

Understanding what is actually going on in a scenario and being able to identify other people’s feelings is known as social awareness. Someone with great social awareness has a perspective similar to an anthropologist’s – objectively watching and comprehending human behavior. This is in contrast to the natural propensity to think about what you’re going to say next or try to anticipate what the other person will say.

Relationship management is the last and most difficult aspect of emotional intelligence. It involves using your knowledge of emotions to properly manage your interactions, both immediately and over time.

Assessing EQ and Formulating a Plan to Improve It

To access their Emotional Intelligence Appraisal and determine your strengths and shortcomings, the authors include a password in each book. The evaluation consists of 28 self-assessment questions in which you rank your frequency of engaging in specific behaviours (such as “Can be counted on” or “Do things you regret when you’re unhappy”) from “Never” to “Always.”

The test’s benefit is that it computes your responses, assigns you a score between 1 and 99 for each of the four EQ components, and directs you to the section of the book that discusses how to strengthen each area where you are weak.

I had hoped for a more demanding exam with options like analyzing video clips for emotions or getting input from friends, family, coworkers, etc. I am rather dubious about the validity of a test that relies on self-reporting, despite the fact that the designers of this assessment have worked with more than 75% of Fortune 500 organizations and are widely regarded as the world’s leading source of emotional intelligence exams and training. I’m assuming that the test’s main purpose is to serve as a personal tool for more precisely identifying strengths and deficiencies, as opposed to serving as a benchmark.

The writers then provide us with the following 66 suggestions for enhancing the various EQ qualities, which we can read in their whole or pick and choose which ones to apply. You should choose just a few strategies from each of the EQ components to put into practice. You should only concentrate on one EQ component at a time. More than that will probably prevent you from being able to concentrate enough to identify the relevant emotional patterns and form new habits. In order to be able to choose which particular concentration is appropriate, this is arguably the most compelling reason to complete the EQ appraisal.

Awareness of Oneself Techniques

Stop viewing your emotions as positive or negative. Judging your feelings inhibits you from comprehending them, generates other feelings, and prevents you from being able to identify the root of the first emotion. Accept, don’t criticise.
Check out the effects of your emotions. Recognize that when you act on your emotions, the consequences may be long-lasting and affect others other than the target of your emotion.
Accept the discomfort you feel. Unpleasant feelings are often avoided or downplayed, although doing so stops us from comprehending them.
Physically experience your feelings. You’ll be able to better comprehend your emotions if you can recognise the bodily changes that go along with them.
Recognize what and who makes you snap. Identify the precise persons, circumstances, and surroundings that make you feel bad and develop a list of them. This needs to be detailed. Once you know where your reaction to these things came from, you will be able to pinpoint it.
Be really vigilant. As a situation develops, pay attention to your emotions and conduct to gain a more unbiased perspective of your actions.
Document your feelings in a journal. Because emotions are such an abstract concept, writing things down will help you better understand them, spot trends, and monitor your progress. It will also make it easier for you to recall your inclinations at the time.
A positive attitude might often be deceiving. In order to better understand your emotions and prevent the negative effects of being in a good mood, you should also try to understand why your good moods occur (irrational exuberance, for example).
Take a moment to reflect and consider your motivations. Your emotions will make you aware of things you otherwise wouldn’t notice.
Check your principles. It’s a good practise to become more self-aware of how your values and your emotions influence your behaviour. Take a piece of paper, and in one column, list your values, and in the other, list any recent actions that you’re not proud of.
Check your principles. It’s a good practice to become more self-aware of how your values and your emotions influence your behavior. Take a piece of paper, and in one column, list your values, and in the other, list any recent actions that you’re not proud of. The writers advise doing this on a regular basis—between daily and monthly—to help you remember it before you act in a way you’ll later regret.
Do a self-check. Your outside appearance always reveals a lot about your inner feelings. Pay attention to your clothing, body language, and facial expressions.
Recognize your emotions in music, film, and literature. Your emotional state might be further elucidated by art that you identify with.
Request input. Receiving input from others is crucial since your knowledge of your emotions is constrained by your exclusive perspective. Ask for specific examples from others, then compare the responses to find patterns.
Discover who you are under pressure. Learn to spot the physical and mental early indicators of stress in yourself, and take the time to relax or recharge before the tension mounts.

Self-control Techniques

Take deep breaths. Your body’s critical processes receive oxygen first, followed by intricate processes that support mental stability. It is important to practise proper breathing methods and to deliberately concentrate on them when you are agitated.
Compile a list of reasons versus feelings. Create a list every time your emotions and logic are at odds, with your emotions on one side and your logic on the other. Use the list to determine which emotions should not be taken into account and which ones provide crucial indications that your reason may have overlooked.
Publish your objectives. Making your objectives public allows you to tap into the incentive of other people’s expectations because the majority of self-management is a matter of motivation. Share the proper objectives with the right people so they can hold you responsible for achieving them.
Perform a ten-count. When necessary, use this simple self-management technique to reawaken your reasonable faculties. To accomplish the same result and allow yourself that few moments, you may do anything else, like drink something.
Consider it later. Time will frequently provide you with clarity when you are unsure of what to do by allowing emotions to pass through their natural course and calm down before you make a decision.
Consult a knowledgeable self-manager. In order to learn knowledge that will help you change your own behavior, ask a professional self-manager about their self-management techniques.
Laugh and smile more. Forcing oneself to smile can lift your spirits since altering your facial expression can affect your interior state of mind.
Schedule a period of time each day for problem-solving. Put 15 minutes on your calendar and take a break from the bustle of activity and feelings to clear your head and reflect without the distraction of your phone or computer.
Control your inner dialogue. Every one of your 50,000 daily thoughts causes your brain to undergo a chemical reaction that affects your emotions and behavior. You can enhance your self-management skills by recognizing your negative self-talk (I always, I never, I’m an idiot, it’s their fault, etc.) and replace it with more constructive ideas (sometimes I make that mistake, I accept responsibility, etc.).
Consider yourself successful. Visualization is a straightforward yet effective strategy to set yourself up for success since your brain responds to it in the same manner when you experience something for the first time.

Spend some time each night before you go to sleep picturing how you would behave in circumstances that you have struggled with in the past or might struggle with the following day.

Improve your sleeping habits. Natural morning sunshine for 20 minutes per day is necessary to reset your biological clock. Avoid caffeine after breakfast because it stays in your system for 12 hours, screens two hours before bed because the blue light from screens inhibits the production of hormones necessary for sleep, and bedtime activities like working or watching TV because they prevent your brain from signaling your body to go to sleep.

Pay more attention to your liberties than your restrictions. Instead than worrying about things that are out of your control, take responsibility for what you can manage in any situation (such as your own attitudes and emotions).
Maintain synchronicity. When your body language is inconsistent with the circumstance, it means that your emotions are out of balance. Recognize your body language and respond to it as needed to express your feelings.
Talk to a person who is not personally affected by your issue. A second opinion can be extremely helpful, but only if the other person is emotionally detached from the situation at hand. Choose the appropriate people to serve as your sounding boards.
Take something of value from everyone you meet. The secret here is in the mindset; if you approach every interaction with the intention of learning something beneficial, you will be in a frame of mind that promotes flexibility, openness, and relaxation. Asking what you can learn about yourself or others from other people’s actions will help you deal with negative emotions far less frequently.

Strategies for Social Awareness

Welcome guests by name. A simple technique to engage someone is to use and remember their name. Use the person’s name at least twice in your initial chat by picturing it written out.

Consider nonverbal cues. You’ll have a better understanding of emotional signs and be able to respond appropriately if you become an experienced body language reader.
Everything should be timed. Determine the best time to speak by concentrating on the other person’s emotional condition and frame of mind rather than your own. One straightforward example is to refrain from requesting a favour while the other person is agitated or furious.
Create a follow-up inquiry. When the conversation is at a standstill, the other person is wrapping up, or you are at a loss for words, it can be helpful to have an open-ended question ready. This should not be applied to conversations that are already emotionally charged, but rather when you need to give the interaction some energy.
Avoid taking notes during meetings. You’re more likely to miss crucial conversational clues if you’re preoccupied with taking notes. The majority of communication takes place nonverbally, so try to keep your attention on the people around you rather than your notes. If taking notes while a meeting is important, be careful to take frequent breaks to observe the attendees and pick up on emotional indicators.
Prepare in advance for social occasions. Although it sounds a little stilted, the truth is that preparation will enable you to be more emotionally present throughout the event. You’ll remember things better and pay more attention if you write them down.
Eliminate the mess. By concentrating on the other person’s words and body language rather than planning your next move, you can improve your listening abilities. The distinction is in your mental motivation: are you engaging in the conversation to educate the other party or to impress them with your knowledge?
abide by the present. You can be more aware of the people around you by being present wherever you are rather than wasting time regretting the past and worrying about the future.
Take a fifteen-minute tour. The authors advise taking 15 minutes out of each workday to stroll around and notice emotional indicators, such as how individuals dress and arrange their workplaces, when they move, how they smile, etc.
Develop your ability to listen. To do this, practice paying attention to the speaker’s voice, including its volume, tone, and speed.

Relationship Building Techniques

Be receptive and inquisitive. Sharing personal information can make it harder for others to mistake you, and the more you understand about someone else, the easier it will be for you to read their emotional cues.
Make your innate communication style stronger. Understanding and modifying our natural communication style is something that we can all gain from. The writers recommend a different writing assignment where you list the benefits of your writing style on one side and the drawbacks on the other. You can choose a couple of each to emphasise or focus on by asking friends or family to help you describe the ups and downs.
Avert sending conflicting signals. It’s possible to speak from the heart while also displaying body language that conveys another emotion that is still present from a totally unrelated scenario or conversation. Be conscious of your feelings so that your voice and body language are consistent. Explain why if they don’t so that no one gets confusing messages.
Bear in mind the minute details that matter. If you’re not already in the habit of saying the small things like “please,” “thank you,” and “I’m sorry,” bring back some traditional good manners in your speech.
React well to criticism. Respect the advice you get and exercise caution in how you respond. In order to fully comprehend what is being stated, ask for examples. Then, thank the person for their input. Both giving and receiving feedback is challenging. Many of the previously mentioned factors still hold true; take into account sleeping on the feedback or compiling an emotion vs. reason list.
Develop trust. Being the first to “be open” and reveal something about yourself will help establish trust. The following are verbatim quotes from the writers regarding how to keep developing trust: “Open communication; readiness to share; consistency throughout time in words, actions, and conduct; and dependability in enforcing the relationship’s agreements.”
Have a policy of “open doors.” Increasing your accessibility to others is the goal here, not making your time open to anyone at any time.
Get angry only on purpose. Expressing your anger in a way that shows you have strong feelings or that the matter is serious is healthy. Instead of allowing anger to rule your life, use it carefully and with purpose. Once more, the writers advise writing down your irritants—from little irritations to those that make you erupt—on a piece of paper. Clearly state the level of rage you would experience in each circumstance if you wanted your relationship to improve. Anger is inappropriate when it’s not possible to do something.
Don’t try to stop what is coming. Don’t retreat in the face of a challenging scenario; doing so will only make matters worse. Utilize your EQ abilities to find a solution or anything to make the situation better.
Respect the emotions of the other person. Accept the right of people to feel the emotions they are experiencing without ignoring them or making a big issue out of them. Even if you disagree with the feelings themselves, respect their right to exist. To demonstrate your comprehension and care, pay attention and repeat back what you hear.
Enhance the individual’s feelings or condition. We frequently have a tendency to reflect the feelings of the other person, but doing so, for instance, when they are angry would only make matters worse. Think about some former circumstances you’ve been in, and remember times when someone else behaved in a way that complemented your feelings and made the interaction pleasurable.
Be concerned when you care. Small gestures of appreciation can forge strong bonds between people.
Don’t only make decisions; explain them. In order for people to support a decision, they must comprehend the rationale behind it. Give a thorough explanation of your decision-making process, including the options you considered and the reasons behind your choice. If at all feasible, get feedback before making a choice, and always be aware of its implications. The writers advise going through your schedule to find the next three decisions you need to make, think about who will be impacted, provide explanations, etc.
Be direct and helpful in your criticism. The secret to offering constructive criticism is to take into account the recipient of the criticism and modify your style accordingly. Spend some time in advance thinking about the person.
Match your impact and intention. You can learn more about the aspects of your EQ that need improvement by looking back at instances when your effect didn’t match your intention. Consider instances in which you unwittingly stoked resentment or strained relationships.

Emotional Intelligence Book Review

“Emotional Intelligence 2.0” is a book written by Travis Bradberry and Jean Greaves. It provides a comprehensive overview of Emotional Intelligence (EI) and its impact on personal and professional success. The book introduces the concept of EI, defines the four key skills of EI (self-awareness, self-management, social awareness, and relationship management), and provides practical advice and tools for improving these skills.

One of the strengths of this book is its focus on providing concrete, actionable steps for enhancing EI. The authors use real-life examples, case studies, and exercises to illustrate the importance and application of EI in various situations. They also provide a test to measure your current level of EI, which can be a useful tool for self-reflection and improvement.

Overall, “Emotional Intelligence 2.0” is a well-written, easy-to-understand guide to EI. The book is suitable for individuals who want to enhance their EI skills, as well as managers and leaders who want to foster a more emotionally intelligent work environment. If you’re looking for a comprehensive guide to EI, this book is a great place to start.

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