Doesn’t Hurt To Ask explains that asking purposeful questions is the secret to communicating your ideas, engaging your audience, and persuading others at work and at home. Persuasion is accomplished by asking the appropriate questions.
It’s challenging to persuade individuals to change their opinions about anything. especially when strong convictions are at stake. As a former prosecutor and congressman, Trey Gowdy is well aware of the challenges involved in convincing others to share your viewpoints.
Trey Gowdy leverages his experience to teach the nuanced art of persuasion through asking questions in Doesn’t Hurt to Ask: Leveraging the Power of Questions to Communicate, Interact, and Persuade. He says that a smart question can assist you in persuading people and effectively communicating your ideas to your audience.
It’s not just effective in Congress or in courtrooms. You may learn how to nudge people in your direction by asking the proper questions in every situation, whether it’s a boardroom meeting or a family meal. He affirms that by employing these techniques, you can strengthen your arguing abilities in any aspect of your life.
Learning to ask smart questions is one of the most important skills you can have while trying to convince someone else.
Contrary to popular opinion, persuasive communication involves more than just winning arguments in debate. It involves paying attention, speaking well, and convincingly expressing your beliefs. Have you ever genuinely altered your mind as a result of being repeatedly barraged with opinions?
Because they put the emphasis on the interaction with the other person and are effective at avoiding defensive answers, questions are an excellent approach to persuade others. Only after being forced to think by his friend’s mother’s probing queries did the author himself decide to pursue a career in law.
After high school, he had always intended to enter the construction industry. But when he informed his friend’s mother what he was doing, she followed up with another question. and another one follows. And after that, more. After speaking with her, he came to the conclusion that becoming a lawyer was what he really wanted to accomplish.
It’s ironic that his friend’s mother didn’t even offer any of her own viewpoints in an attempt to influence him. She did what enabled him to convince himself. That is the power of asking questions, according to Gowdy.
Yet, the author does make it clear that there are some questions that are simply foolish. For instance, Gowdy’s witness once recalled a suspect holding a blue bag during a robbery trial. The author then said, “Alright, what shade of blue was the bag?” The subsequent laughing supports the idea that there can be such a thing as a dumb inquiry.
Yet, the author is of the opinion that a foolish query is preferable to a stupid assertion. Normally, one would be more inclined to believe a person who is ignorant than a person who is misled.
Measure, repeat, and repackage can help you become more persuasive.
Do you believe that America is more appreciated around the world now than it was under President Obama? a friend once questioned the author. He sought further clarification from his pals rather than merely responding to the query. He enquired as to what he meant by “more regarded” and how he defined “global.” These inquiries remained unanswered by his pal.
He says that when it comes down to it, people utilize ambiguous or inaccurate language far too frequently. This is why asking an opponent for clarification can occasionally be effective in undermining their position. They can, however, readily do the same to you.
Here’s when word choice becomes important. Your inquiries ought to be clear and concise. First of all, stay away from words like “everyone,” “never,” and “always.” This pave the door for responses such, “So, you think I never pick up after myself?”
Then, emphasize your message by repeating it. The effectiveness of repetition in speech is often underrated. Your audience will begin to comprehend the significance of something the more times you repeat it.
On one instance, the author was tasked with interrogating a guy who was charged with killing his wife. His approach consisted of repeatedly posing the same query in various contexts. What did she say after you stabbed her the first time, he enquired? After you stabbed her a second time, what did she say?
The jury had already heard “when you stabbed your wife” so many times by the time he had finished asking variations of this question that it was very simple to persuade them of his guilt.
Finally, if you are having trouble discrediting your opponent’s argument, consider repackaging it. When you use various phrases to make an argument appear abruptly ludicrous, this is what happens.
When the author assisted victims of domestic abuse, he would employ this tactic. He would turn this around by posing the question, “So you’re saying it’s her fault she was abused?” if a member of the defense team indicated that the lady should have known not to return to an abusive relationship.
Try to diversion, deconstruction, doubling down, or victim play if you are losing your argument.
Although masters of persuasion occasionally fail to win an argument, the author is aware of this. The wisest course of action is occasionally to leave. He does, however, have a few last-minute plans to lessen the effects of a lost debate.
The author advises that you strive to create a diversion as your first course of action. Humans detest interruptions, but if you can catch them off guard with a question, you might be able to derail their flow and steer the conversation in a different way while keeping your attention on them.
You can then attempt to dismantle. You can attack even the most minor assumptions your opponent makes when they are making a strong case in order to slow them down. Ask questions such as “How can you be sure that’s true?” and “How can you really know that?”
The third tactic is going all in. If one aspect of your case is exceptionally persuasive, stick with it until you can find a way to withdraw from the discussion.
Playing the victim card is your last resort if all else fails to save you. Undoubtedly, this lacks a sense of dignity. But it works because, by nature, people are more sympathetic towards victims.
Obama, for instance, asserted that Ryan didn’t care about children when the former House Speaker Paul Ryan was criticized during a discussion on the Affordable Care Act. Ryan took advantage of this by portraying himself as the victim and emphasizing the injustice of Obama’s attack.
Doesn’t Hurt To Ask Book Review
In his book Doesn’t Hurt To Ask, author Seth Godin encourages readers to develop the willingness to ask. He argues that asking for advice, help, and resources can open up opportunities that would otherwise not be available.
The book begins by introducing the concept of asking. Godin outlines the four core skills that must be developed in order to ask: taking a risk, being vulnerable, getting comfortable with ambiguity, and learning to negotiate. He encourages readers to become more comfortable with the concept of asking in order to reap greater rewards.
The author then dives into specific tactics for asking. He provides examples of how to ask in different contexts, such as business, education, and relationships. He also explains the importance of framing your questions in a way that’s likely to get a positive response.
Godin offers advice on how to handle rejection and encourages readers to keep asking even when it doesn’t work out. He also stresses the importance of being polite and gracious to those who take the time to answer your questions.
Overall, Doesn’t Hurt To Ask is a great resource for anyone looking to learn how to ask for advice, help, and resources. Godin’s helpful examples and practical advice make it easy to understand and apply.
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