One of the most important figures in the community of self-development is David Deida. In his lifetime, he produced 10 works, all of which have been translated into 25 other languages.
These works are meant to aid in the spiritual and sexual development of both men and women. The Way of the Superior Man, Finding God Through Sex, and Blue Truth are three of his best-known books. He also released his autobiographical book Wild Nights in 2000.
Deida worked in and with numerous universities while also being a founding associate of Integral Institute. At organizations like the University of California, San Jose State University, and the Lexington Institute, to mention a few, he has done research and taught. He has worked at the Ecole Polytechnique in Paris where he lectured and did research, therefore his reach also extends internationally.
Contrary to what the title may imply, this book is not just for guys. The Way of the Superior Man shares the same goal as the rest of Deida’s writings: to enable people of all genders and sexual orientations to achieve their greatest potential.
It tries to instruct people on how to handle contemporary relationships, intimacy, spirituality, and employment. According to Deida, The Way of The Superior Man is a manual for the “developing man.” As he puts it, it’s a manual on how not to be a King Kong macho man or the contemporary androgynous Mr. Nice Guy.
Deida gives advice on how to combine heart and steel to become the ideal person throughout the entire book. It exhorts individuals to embrace both their masculine and feminine traits in order to live more fully.
Deida adds that by doing this, you may better comprehend both your relationship and yourself. You can more effectively lead a more feminine partner if you embrace your masculine traits.
A Man’s Way
The first chapter of The Manner of the Superior Man is entirely devoted to the conventional way that men (or other individuals with male energy) live their lives. As you might have guessed, a woman does things considerably differently than this (someone with feminine energy).
This book’s introduction exhorts readers to eschew the conventional characteristics of living “like a man.” Readers are urged by Deida to recognize that life never truly ends. Live in the present and acknowledge that there will always be new obstacles to face and overcome rather than yearning for the completion of anything in life.
The Superior Way of Thinking Men with masculine energies are urged to embrace their more feminine sides by men. Despite the danger of suffering harm, living with an open heart is positive and welcome. It rejects the notion that “guys don’t weep.” Accept your feelings instead, and express them as necessary.
By embracing your feelings, you also learn how to love others and yourself. To amplify love, openness, and depth, you should live your life like you should make love.
However, living up to your potential takes things a step further. Knowing your why will help you accept who you are. Keep in mind your genuine purpose once you’ve identified it. Reorganize your life around your why, if required.
But you also need to be aware of your boundaries. Every individual has a potential for progress as well as their absolute boundaries. The location of this boundary or edge is not crucial. Living by your edge is essential to knowing it.
In other words, strive to achieve your full potential.
In a similar vein, The Way of The Superior Man exhorts readers to act as though their fathers have passed away. Obviously metaphorically speaking. However, the main lesson here is to avoid casting a shadow over others. You are an individual with a unique purpose and edge.
Remember to be open to criticism as you strive to live your life to the fullest. Deida explains that while a male should be unaffected by it, women are wired to be harmed by it.
To put everything you have into achieving your goal, however, is the key guiding principle. Instead of rearranging your life to fit your purpose, try doing the opposite.
Approaching Women
Of course, a companion is a necessary component of life that cannot be ignored. The Way of The Superior Man offers advice on how to effectively interact with women or partners who have feminine energy.
Deida says that your goal should come first in all relationships, including romantic ones, as one example. You “rob your girlfriend of an authentic guy” when you prioritise your career over your relationship.
You should also give up hoping that your woman or partner will become easier to deal with. According to The Way of The Superior Man, a tough partner makes an excellent one. They’ll support you in striving for your maximum potential.
Deida, on the other hand, makes a little turn. Tolerating your partner’s or woman’s “moods” is never a smart idea, even though he advocates loving them unconditionally and accepting their difficulties. Tolerating this results in subsequent bitterness.
In Loving Your Woman Wholly, Deida Suggests a Few Simple Things:
Recognize that women aren’t liars, for starters. Recognize that their truth is founded on their current feelings. It can be difficult to do this, but you also shouldn’t judge your feminine energy companion. No analysis can tame them because of their erratic behaviour (caused by their emotions).
The Superior Way of Thinking Man compares feminine energy in humans to the weather. Recognize its erratic nature and the fact that bad weather inevitably passes.
Additionally, constantly give your girlfriend compliments since it helps her develop. In contrast, those with masculine energy enjoy a challenge.
Nevertheless, some of his assertions regarding moods are contradictory. Deida advises showing your partner affection in order to avoid what he refers to as “drama.”
Working with Polarity and Energy
The polarity of people is another topic covered in The Way of the Superior Man. You must think about the polarities and energy of the feminine person you desire in your life if you want to realise your ultimate potential.
In essence, Deida has an interpretation of the proverb “opposites attract.”
One is that men must come to terms with the inevitable fact that they will find more attractive women. Also the opposite. Give this attraction room to grow.
Deida advises making an informed decision while selecting a mate. He claimed that the formula for love is extremely straightforward. It’s crucial to find someone who is your complementary opposite because of the attraction dynamic between masculine and feminine persons.
However, Deida explains that even if you make sensible choices, you will inevitably desire more than one lady. However, you shouldn’t give in to these urges.
What Women Really Want
What women or those with feminine energy genuinely want and desire is described in The Way of The Superior Man.
Deida clarifies that what they actually desire differs from what they claim to want. He emphasises that the “languages” of men and women are dissimilar. You are urged to consider the “outbursts” and differences as tests rather than trying to analyse these languages. You can succeed in these exams by emphasising love.
The primary linguistic distinction is found in your feminine partner’s concerns. It’s noteworthy that The Way of The Superior Man demonstrates that their concerns lack substance. They therefore reflect sentiment rather than reality. As you can see in the Dealing with Women section, the book exhorts you to behave lovingly.
You also need to realise that your track record means nothing when your partner complains. Even if you don’t often do anything wrong, the main concern here is what matters to your partner. Men, on the other hand, don’t base their actions on previous actions, according to Deida.
Being your first priority is one of the main things Deida asserts a woman doesn’t want, despite her requests. Women and those who possess feminine energy want a spouse who takes the initiative and prioritizes their goals above all else. They will be able to rest, which is what they really want, while you take charge of every situation.
The Dark Side
The Way of The Superior Man emphasises that everyone has a dark side, much like Star Wars. It’s crucial to keep track of it while you work to discover who you truly are. Rather, accept it. Women are very attracted to your dark side (unless you’re Padmé).
If you don’t own this darkness within of you, your ability to be a man gradually deteriorates. This in turn affects how well you can love your mate and face the unknown.
Feminine Attractiveness
The Way of The Superior Man goes into great detail as to why the masculine finds the feminine to be so alluring.
You must first accept that women will always possess an abundance of feminine energy. The quantity that each expresses varies, though. According to Deida, there is opposition to accepting, believing in, and loving their femininity.
Since life itself is feminine, he exhorts everyone to embrace their feminine powers.
Deida claims that younger women exhibit the kind of feminine energy that attracts males throughout the book. However, he also exhorts people to recognize the feminine allure of older ladies. Older women are strong and intelligent, and it is important to support them in using their “magic.”
You’re also urged to act on your feelings of attraction and desire for women or other feminine beings rather than repressing them. You must keep in mind, though, that she is more alluring than just her appearance before giving in to these urges.
Body Practices
The Way of The Superior Man explains how you can be better at it because it is a crucial component of relationships.
The masculine require control over their ejaculations, according to Deida. If not, you cannot and will not satisfy the needs of your spouse. Learning to make your ejaculation into a full-body, brain, and heart orgasm is one strategy for taking control.
You should also breathe from your front. Do this with composure, emotion, and purpose. This compels you to maintain an open posture, which liberates attention from self-centered neurosis.
How does this support a relationship’s physical side? Deida explains that you can convert your ejaculation using this breathing technique. Your pelvic floor contracts as you breathe in this way, sending energy up your spine. Orgasm that follows is revitalizing and transformational.
Men and Women’s Yoga Intimacy
The final set of guidelines for turning into a Superior Man are described in Deida’s “yoga intimacy.” You are urged to be aware of your partner’s needs and wants, which vary depending on your respective energy.
A person’s purpose in life means more to them the more male energy they possess. However, a person’s importance and level of intimacy in a relationship increases with their level of femininity. This fundamental disparity must be acknowledged by both partners for a successful partnership to exist.
Each partner in a relationship plays a different function as a result of this asymmetry. Women’s emotions, readiness to embrace their femininity, and intensity of love are all determined by men. On the other side, a woman is in charge of her partner’s physical energy.
You are also urged to push on improvement and practise. not just for your partner but also for yourself. Because a Superior Man encourages his partner to choose the path that will most promote her personal development and happiness.
The Way of The Superior Man advises surrounding yourself with like-minded people if you’re having trouble pursuing your mission. Embrace your femininity rather than succumbing to the traditional man’s craving for isolation. Women thrive when they are with other strong females. In other words, look for buddies who share your objectives.
Release or “dissolving” is the subject of this book’s final lesson. Deida said, “A man’s greatest wish is to be released.” Release yourself fearlessly in all facets of your life.
The Way of the Superior Man’s Major Lessons
The Superior Man by David Deida has very straightforward main points to remember. You should embrace both your feminine and masculine energy and own your darkest passions if you want to become an evolved man.
Finding your mission and prioritizing it above anything else, including your spouse, is the most crucial thing to remember. This promotes both self-improvement and the development of contemporary man.
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